He changed the word about two years ago and he has never told anybody, because he is not sure it would sound like anything.
Before, when he prayed, he began with Father. Not thinking about it. It was simply the word, the way you use somebody's name without deciding to. It carried a whole set of things with it that he could not have listed at the time, and one of them was that he belonged in the room.
Now he begins with Lord.
That is the whole change and it took about a week. There was a period after the thing happened when Father caught in his throat, and he substituted the more formal word, and the substitution was easier, and then the substitution became the habit and the habit became two years.
Nobody would notice. Lord is a perfectly good word and it is all over Scripture and there is nothing wrong with it.
What is wrong is why he is using it.
He is using it because Father implies a relationship and Lord can be said by anyone. Lord is what a stranger says. Lord is available to a man who has forfeited something and does not want to presume, and every morning for two years he has begun with a word chosen precisely because it claims less.
He is being careful. That is what he would say if you pressed him, and there would be no self pity in it. Just a man who thinks he ought not to overreach.
That is you at the start of a prayer.
You've swapped a word. And the swap was small and reasonable and nobody has ever heard it, and it has quietly restated your position every morning for two years.
Paul says which word gets put in your mouth
Here is what Paul writes about how a person in Christ addresses God, and pay attention to who supplies the word.
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.Romans 8:15
Whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
The word is not chosen by the one praying. It is produced by the Spirit of adoption, which means the familiar word is not a liberty a person takes; it is what the Holy Spirit puts in the mouth of somebody who has been adopted.
And notice the doubling. Abba, Father. Abba is the Aramaic, the household word, the one a small child uses. Then the Greek word after it. Paul keeps both, which no writer does by accident: he wants the intimacy of the first and the standing of the second, together, in one breath.
You are given the familiar word by the Spirit rather than permitted it by good behavior, and it was never yours to withdraw from yourself, and I am not lowering the reverence: Romans 8:15 says the Spirit of adoption produces the cry, in writing, and it is the Holy Spirit rather than my telling you so who can get that into a man who has been careful for two years.
Now look at what Paul contrasts it with. Not the spirit of bondage again to fear. He is not contrasting familiar language with reverent language. He is contrasting adoption with fear, and the formal word you have been using was chosen out of the second one.
That is the part I would say gently and I would not want you to miss it. Nobody is telling you that Lord is wrong. It is a good word and you should keep it. The question is which of the two you reach for first thing, and why, and for two years the answer has been fear rather than reverence, and there is a real difference between those and your body knows it.
You have not forfeited a word, and the careful substitution has been restating a position God has not taken, which is written into the contrast rather than into my opinion of your prayers, with the Spirit of God able to give back a word that habit took away.
Here is the pastoral thing, and it comes from watching a great many people do this. Adoption in the ancient world was not fragile. It was legally stronger than birth in some respects, because a birth is a fact and an adoption is a decision, and a decision made in public before witnesses is not undone by the behavior of the one adopted.
This word is yours this morning, before anything is settled and before you feel entitled to it, because Scripture puts it in the mouth of the adopted by the Spirit, and the Holy Spirit is the one doing it rather than waiting for you to feel qualified.
Take the word back.
Not because Lord is wrong. Because you swapped it out of fear, quietly, two years ago, and every morning since you have opened by restating a distance that God has never once confirmed.
Paul says the familiar word is produced in you by the Spirit of adoption. It is not a presumption. It is not a liberty for people whose record is clean. It is what the Spirit does in the mouth of somebody who belongs, and belonging in that passage is a legal fact established by decision rather than a status maintained by performance.
You are given Abba by the Spirit of adoption, and it was never a word you had the standing to take away from yourself, because Romans 8:15 puts the cry on the Spirit's side, and the Holy Spirit is the one making that a thing you can say this morning.
Say Father first. It costs about half a second.
Declare this over yourself
Say them out loud, in whatever voice this morning has left you. The standing to say them is not something you work up to and it does not come off your record: Christ is in you, and the authority in these words belongs to Him and has been given to you in Scripture, made living by the Holy Spirit rather than by whether you feel entitled to the familiar word. Jesus put the faith required at a mustard seed, which is His way of setting it under the line where anybody would trouble to measure, and then He said the part that carries: speak to the mountain. The mountain here is not what happened. It is the substitution. Speak to that. What He does with everything else He does in His own way, and the lowering of the arms is yours to do this morning.
- Formal word I have been using, you are not the one I was given, and in the name of Jesus I set you down. Scripture says the Spirit of adoption produces the cry of Abba, so the familiar word was handed to me rather than taken by me.
- Fear of overreaching at the start of a prayer, you have opened every morning for two years by restating a distance nobody agreed to. Scripture contrasts adoption with bondage to fear, so what I have been calling carefulness has had your name on it the whole time.
- Lord God, You are my Father and You have never once withdrawn the word, and I am standing here with my arms down and the first word back where it was. I thank You, because Your Holy Spirit puts that cry in my mouth and Your word made adoption a decision rather than a performance, and I am received as a son and not at the end of a probation.
Romans 8:15
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